Rose15

^ yea that made me laugh too

but you dont have to hit kids

its all about respect

i dont no how u can hit kids, i love my babies, i dont see them in ramadan

but ive neva hit any of them, even when they annoy me

With me, they have fun with me but also respect me.

Parents are crap these days, they mess up and then sit and cry

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Umm Layth

Jazaaka Allaahu khairan for the beneficial article.

I read somewhere (can not remember where) that Ibn Hazm held the opinion that it was haram to hit children before the age of 10 because of the hadeeth of Salah.

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musaafirah 57

Fatima, you're probably right. You're a mother, I'm just an older sister and a "teacher". I have just noticed that the kids 5, 6, and 7 years old expected to fast by their parents (meaning, the parents did not send any food with their kids to school that day) were doing noticably worse in school and becoming very weak. I was thinking more along the lines of their health needs etc. My thoughts when writing my initial post in this thread were, 'Why make something almost incumbent upon them if Allah subhanahu wa ta`alaa or his Messenger salAllahu `alayhi wa sallam didn't?'

I didn't know that the Companions would lessen the nursing of their infants out of respect for the fasting though, radi'Allahu `anhum. In the Arabian Peninsula you'll find girls as young as 4, 5, and 6 wearing the full "Saudi" `abayas, some even in niqab. I would guess this is also done as respect for the environment in which you will not find a woman or girl who isn't covered completely in public.

I do respect and admire the parents that encourage their kids to fast, but I think it's different if you're making them do it with punishment, as if it is fard upon them. So maybe it's better if we were to treat it more like an expectation without consequence instead of a rule with consequence. Like you expect them to try to keep fast but you don't punish them if they can't do it. In my opinion sending your little kids to school without any kind of food could seem like a punishment to them.

On the other hand I have a student who is 6 years old, her parents told me she wanted to try fasting the whole day but if she seemed to be getting too weak, to give her food from her lunchbox. Well she was able to go the whole school day without eating or drinking, and she didn't complain once. I liked that her parents sent food for her though, just in case. And they let her know that she wouldn't be punished if she ate her lunch, as she's still young and fasting isn't fard for her yet.

So yes, I don't disagree with your post necessarily and I respect your insight because I know you are speaking from experience :] jazakillahu khayraa. I agree with you that sometimes you have to be tough if you want them to be tough. I hope one day I am successful in doing so, in accordance to the Sunnah insha'Allah.

I'm not sure if this was a necessary reply really, so I've no further comments. But I hope you have a wonderful Ramadan and that you and your family reap the benefits of this month. Du`aas for you, insha'Allah..
And sorry I've been out of touch. My thoughts and prayers are with you insha'Allah. I guess I didn't have much contact because for the past 9..10 months I didn't feel as though I could be much of a "useful" muslim to IN. Maybe that will change, Allah only knows. Keep up the great work though!

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sasjamal

I don't know what or how, but as a child (7 years of age) i used to always beg my parents to let me fast - and my parents would insist i eat (at school).

And now some of my step kids are the same way (fatimas kids)

So there must be something to it -

I think the big reaso I enjoyed it so much is because we have a HUGE production of what suhoor and iftar is - like thats so fun, that you do NOT want to eat all day just t obe able to fast.

But if a kid gets weaker because they dont eat all day - the kid is a retard. Ameircans even punish kids by sending them to bed without supper -

I do not think its possible to get sick to that point unless your one of those whiny kids who just love to whine

Fasting is SUPPOSe to be hard -

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sasjamal

And if you do not hit your children - mark my words - they will come out idiots.

Ibn Umar used to his his children if they made mistakes in arabic grammar. (and no i dont and won't source it).

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Lauren

Also, the mother of az-Zubayr (ra) used to take him out into the desert when he was a baby and leave him there. [Remember, the desert is blistering hot, lots of harsh insects/animals like scorpions, etc.] So she would leave him and she would walk away from him leaving him alone there. And if she heard him start to cry, she would go back to him and hit him.

It may sound harsh, but then again, az-Zubayr grew to become one of the greatest Companions. So something must have worked.

Umm Layth

Ibn `Umar or `Umar brother Sas? But even then is this a hujjah?

As for the thing about az-zubayr, my husband said he heard it once narrated as locked in a room. So do we have a source for this as well?

I know some people and my husband knows some people who never were hit and have masha'Allaah strong character and better aadab than many.

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sasjamal

it's not a hujjah., it was ibn umar.

And there is no 'hujjah that stops someone from hitting a child either.

And no, there is no one who was not hit (unless from the first 3 generations, or a propher) who was good.

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Darth Vador

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fatimahye

i don't hit my children (i did when i was first a parent because that's how i was raised, yet i didn't like it to be a habit so i stopped)

but alhamdulillah they don't need hitting

and some children do

i can't see any sahaba getting out of control and shreiking etc.

i believe even if they hit kids it was in a matter-of-fact, tough, noble sort of way that quickly, without a bunch of hand-holding conveyed "don't do that"

not like nowadays where we explain everything oh so nicely only to have them say "but why?" or whatever (they really just don't see parents as authorities anymore)

and not the type nowadays that comes to mind of out of control parents with bad manners who have lost their tempers and are looking for a quick fix

i was hit and i got over it

it just depends on the child and the situation

we need our kids to be tough and a hit now and then won't hurt them

it's ridiculous what some people say that it's degrading, etc.

a child should know their place in society and if they're bad, what's the problem of degrading them (meaning just by getting hit or told off)

they are NOT, contrary to what people here say, "princesses" and "sports" or whatever

and hitting them is NOT "abuse"

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